Over the weekend I had the great opportunity to attend a conference up in Layton. It was a FSA conference. I learned a lot from the speakers and it gave me new perspective on adoption. I have always been a huge advocate for adoption, but I learned how to approach other people better. Hopefully this will all make sense when I am finished. The best way to explain this is to share with you my story.
I was 19 years old when I found out I was pregnant. I was attending college to become a medical assistant and was in my 3 month there. It was also 3 months before mine and my boyfriends two year anniversary. Many things took place after that moment of finding out I was going to have a baby. But that is not really why I am writing this blog.
The real story starts when I was about 3 months along. I started seeing a counselor at LDS Family Services, she (Connie) changed my world. I wanted to get information on single parenting, because I thought that is what I should do. However, she gave my information on single parenting, and Adoption. I began to realize that I couldn't be a single parent at 19 and go to school and work and take good care of this baby. I looked more into adoption and it just felt right. My parents always thought adoption was the best choice but it took time for me to feel right about it too. When I finally decided that was the right thing for the baby I told Connie my decision. I browsed through some profiles of some great couples that were anxiously waiting to be blessed with a child. When I found Brad and Sally I just knew that my little baby was meant to go to them. It took a lot of prayers and a lot of faith but we found each other.
I announced the news to them on Mothers day 2004, I wish I could have seen their faces when they heard that they were picked. I instantly felt a very strong bond and connection with them. We set up are first face to face a few days later. I was so nervous walking through that door the first time, but they made me feel so loved and apart of their family. We got along great and had a lot in common, except they root for byu and I am a Utes girl.
Through out the pregnancy we wrote back and forth I kept them posted on the pregnancy and they learned about me. They put together a Life book for the baby so he would know all about me.
On Oct 17 2004 I gave birth to a beautiful baby Boy (who they named Tyler Joseph) 9lbs 9.11oz
Then Oct 20th Brad and Sally got their very first child, and I said goodbye to my son. At that moment on he became their son. That was by far the hardest day of my life, but also one of the best.
We do have a open adoption and I get to be involved with their family and I am so grateful for them and the wonderful examples of faith, determination, partnership, parenthood, and strength. I love them a lot.
So here is how the conference helped me. People always ask me "do you have kids?" I have struggled with answering that question. Cause yes I gave birth but no I don't 'Have' him. Does that make sense? Anyways I have learned that I can simply say "Well I am a Birth mom" if they need more information they can ask. But I am proud of who I am, A BIRTH MOM!
The reason I posted this is because I want to help the world understand that adoption is awesome and a blessing, and I want to be able to help other birth moms, or adoptive couples.
If you know anyone who needs to talk send them my way.